As a kid, I remember growing up with those big-ass hit machine all-American rock bands. It was the 80s and powerhouses like Journey Aerosmith, Metallica, Bon Jovi and Van Halen were ramping up towards unstoppability. The kind of bands that are now staples of Classic Rock radio. They are icons. And they were, even then. But of course, unstoppability gives way to, "not as good as they were, but still pretty good." That gives way to "Man, that last album was better. What are they trying to do?" Then, "OK, there's new guys in the band. What the hell with that?!" Then comes, "Seriously, if I hear another fukken power ballad, someone is going to DIE."
The big dogs are gone. Broken up or boring as crap. Shadows of their former selves.
Eventually, all bands jump the shark. And we're left wondering if they were even worth listening to in the first place. Or questioning their previous greatness. Hell, I have a whole case of CDs that have been deemed too embarrassing to show publicly anymore. And even the Bad Boys of Boston are in that case. (My wife wasn't a fan of Aerosmith during the years I was blasting them - when I played Permanent Vacation so much the tape snapped. So, to her, everything that isn't "Sweet Emotion" is "Don't Want to Miss a Thing" and those songs will never see the light of day. Who can blame her? Do you want to justify that song's existence?)
Has the GARB died off? Who will populate our classic rock stations of the future?
Those are the questions I wanted answers to. It was easy to say a band like Van Halen was a powerhouse in the 80s, but nowadays, is there a band like that? I don't think we think of it in those terms anymore. But here goes my list anyway. The top 5 current Great American Rock Bands. Selected in terms of longevity, American-ness, and rock status. And, as always, in no particular order.
1. Red Hot Chili Peppers. Doing it longer than everyone on the list (formed in 1983). There is no way in Hell they should even be capable of this kind of relevance after all this time. After 27 years of making music, nearly every rock band I can think of has found a quiet way to ease into Adult Contemporary and fade from our memories. Like a slow boat ride down a river "... bye bye rock band ... say hi to Sting for us ..." Not the RHCP. Never. In another 5 years, 10 years, I may not like their new album, or care, but it will not be soft. It will not be weak. They are sex, They are drugs. They are rock and roll.
2. Green Day. OK, So I blogged about them already. There's a teeming throng of haters that say they are not punk. I surrender. But no one can tell me they aren't rock. Or great! You can't win those arguments here. Two hit albums ago they released a greatest hits CD, with 20 songs I already knew by heart. Meanwhile I click past songs on Van Halen's greatest hits so much I wonder why I even needed to buy the CD.
3. (wait for it) Weezer. Yes, Weezer. Shut up, you! I am totally right. Subversive or not, offbeat or not, this band - this band that could have and maybe should have been a one hit wonder with "Buddy Holly" 16 years ago does not stop. As a friend pointed out, they have a lot in common with AC-DC. Every song has their trademark; it's undeniable who you are hearing. When that minimalist verse warms up - takes a quick breath - then charges into the guitar slamming chorus, we know exactly who we're hearing. And like AC-DC, they have a sound that no one else could pull off. And that attitude. There's all kinds of bands that bank on geeky, wry and not-too-serious and even for the best of them, the gimmick wear off. For Cake, Smash Mouth, The Presidents of the USA, and sometimes The Offspring .. the luster fades. We get tired of it. Weezer defies the odds. They are The Beatles of geek rock and they don't give a hoot about what you think.
4. Foo Fighters. I like how the Foo Fighters slowly snuck up on me over the course of the 90s, slowly amassing a catalog of hits. Not albums full of Number ones, but one or two solid tracks every time. Every GAMB should have a big fat fist pumping rock anthem. The kind slow motion scenes in sports movies are designed for. "My Hero" took care of that a decade ago.
5. No freaking idea. Can I just say it? As many great bands as there are out there, every one I can come up with has some sort of fatal flaw. The nearest contenders I can come up with for spot number five are:
The Killers: another clever band with a kickass wall of sound and a monster dose of irony. If they make one more album that people actually listen to, they could totally be in.
No Doubt: totally a contender for a while. Then they broke up. At this point I'm not sure they'd make it in even if they got back together. Like the Eagles, a reunion might just be a too little too late thing when it comes to music relevance. Too bad. As a collection, they are some of the greatest individual musicians of their time.
Stone Temple Pilots: See above.
All-American Rejects: I love them. I won't lie. Three solid, fairly hit-filled albums in 9 years. Something is missing. I'm not sure what.
The Beastie Boys: Rock pioneers (Face it, Rap will not claim them) They became greater and better as the politics motivated them. But unlike U2, their music was the one thing that people did not want to hear as time went on.
Pearl Jam: Every move for the past 12 years has been a calculated "fuck you" to their fans. They've rotted away into jam band obscurity. Like the Grateful Dead, if Jerry Garcia was a douche.
Maroon 5: The Twilight: New Moon of rock bands. They get no love.
Came so close ... : Blink 182, Good Charlotte, Counting Crows ...
Scary that The Black Eyed Peas are a few guitars away from being a better choice on this list than these. Aaaaand ... for the sake of my own self-respect, I am glad that Nickelback is Canadian. You might not like this list if they weren't. And neither would I. Trust me.
