Thursday, December 9, 2010

12 Days of Christmas Music, part 6. Emissions Free!

I've said it before--my wife and I have a seemingly unending tolerance for holiday music.
But seriously... there's like eleven songs.  When songwriters were busy cranking out the holiday standards back in the day, it probably never occured to them that there would be radio stations playing Christmas music 24/7 from Thanksgiving until the 26th of December or they might have sat down to the piano and cranked out a few more.  Who could know that eventually someone would notice in the middle of their Christmas music playlist that even though there are 100 songs on that bad boy, there are only 25 different songs!  Yeah, I have Aretha singing Winter Wonderland, and that's cool, but I just checked it out--on that same playlist I have Peggy Lee, Etta James (really it should be either Etta or Aretha ... not both), whiney-ass Phantom Planet, Neil Diamond and Bing Crosby signing the same song.  That's a lot of Wonderland for one ipod.
So, when an actual new Chrismas song comes along these days it's a fricking true Christmas miracle.  But can you remember the last time that kind of miracle went down?  I do.  It was 1994's All I want for Christmas is You.  Yep.  Mariah Carey.
So a few years ago, I hear an upbeat Chrismas jingle start up and immediately it sounds just like the Jackson 5's Santa Claus is Coming to town, right here.
But it's not.  So I wait.  And listen.
And then, what to my wondering ears should appear?  Why it's Elton John, sounding ever so ... festive. Welcoming.  He starts right off "Welcome to my Chrismas song..."  Thanks, Elton.
I'm elated.  It's catchy!  It's upbeat and fun!  It's Step Into Christmas.  Finally something new; something I've never heard before.  And it must be modern because why else would Sir Elton be singing about making the holiday fun "emissions free?!"
Instant classic.  Like Wham's Last Christmas and No Doubt's Oi to the world, it's a modern miracle.  A tiny break in the monotony of the otherwise predictable holiday playlist.
Except, it's old.  Older than me!  I don't know how i missed it all these years (I can't stress enough the size of this mystery), but it was recorded in 1973.  I also don't know how i missed that the song is clearly sung by young, Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting Elton John, not crappy-ass Can You Feel the Love Tonight Elton John.
Also that environmentally preachy line ... turns out it's actually "The Admission's free!"
And then for no reason, two minutes into the song, it becomes Daniel.  Seriously, for zero reason at all, it just breaks into that haunting piano melody.  Elton's depressing song about a man's war-wounded, blind brother.  The piano just rolls in and you can almost sing along:  "Santa is travelin' tonight on a sleigh ... I can see the reindeer lights headin for Spai-i-i-i-n ... I can see Santa wavin goodbye."
Also, I can't help associating the song with the late 90s "Fall into the Gap" campain.  Although that jingly jangly Elton pop greatness is clearly more of an Old Navy style.
Step into Christmas is a new holiday classic -- or an old one.  It's cool.  It's vintage.  Or perhaps like a  hand-me-down Gap sweater, it's at least new to me!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Music Math: Ke$ha

Ke$ha
equals
Lady Gaga
plus Lady Sovereign















minus Madonna


Sunday, August 22, 2010

Top 5 shallow reasons I'm liking Hyper Crush

I spent the better part of a decade or more avoiding any form of hip-hop dance stuff.  My prejudice is a result of being a middle and high schooler in the early 90s and recalling the backlash I got from thinking bands like C&C music factory were cool.
... oh the shame ...
But it's 2010 now, and I'm not scared.  And turns out, the shit's gotten better.  And even though they're no Black Box, I'm finding myself and my itunes account drawn to Hyper Crush.  Problem is, I can't come up with a justifiably good reason to listen to them from a music appreciation standpoint.  However!  I have five perfectly good shallow reasons to like them.
1. They are feeding the 80s child in me with big fat donuts of pop culture.  In one song, The Arcade, they make references to Hypercolor, Mario Brothers, Zelda, Duck Hunt and The Wizard (Fred Savage's greatest film to date!  You heard me Princess Bride fans!)  Check it yourself!
In Robo-tech, half the video is like a Tron sequel and it even features the lyric, "Cool like Mr. T."
Reasons 2. and 3.  So, this is Holly.  And that's all I have to say.
4. In the last pic, you may have also noticed Donny and Preston.  It's like looking at Snow and Vanilla Ice!  In a group together.  How cool is that!? Shit, where's Everlast ?
5. I'm still not sure how good they are, but I am in desperate need of good workout music.  Since I first discovered them at they gym, I think maybe that's the best part.  Great beats and fun mindless lyrics.  They are serving as a sublte treadmill reminder for me right now.  So there.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

It's Ok to like Covers!

It was 1996. I was ... younger than I am now. And I was listening to a conversation between two guys about how one of them believed that Seal was undoing the very fabric of music by daring to remake Steve Miller's "Fly Like an Eagle," which Seal did for the Space Jam movie.
The other guy was looking at him in that sympathetic way we all do when someone tells us that the sky is falling, or in this case when someone tells us, "So, now ... NOW, all these young kids today will grow up all talking about how Seal was the original writer of Fly Like an Eagle!"
And I guess the world would end after that.
It's now 14 years later and Seal is busy creating a small army of children with Heidi Klum, Bill Murray is waking up in cold sweats wondering why the fuck he appeared in the second worst Bugs Bunny film of all time, the Seal remake of "Fly Like an Eagle" is currently playing on zero radio stations across the country right now, and nobody under 35 gives a crap about Steve Miller's sleepy ass, overrated hit! Oh yeah, I said it!
And that guy, wherever he may be, has likely moved on to cursing Seether for daring to screw with the classic "Careless Whisper."
He epitomizes an entire section of the population that thinks to cover someone else's work is to insult the original artist and the listening audience that loves the original song. And if you want bad examples to back up that thinking, well, there's plenty out there. Seether may have taken a whack at a Wham tune, but do you remember Limp Bizkit's "Faith"? Yeah. Wish you hadn't, right? Britney Spears may be the only living person with as many issues as Bobby Brown, but her "My Prerogative" ate more crap than a dung beetle. And Counting Crows didn't have to remake "Big Yellow Taxi," but it was cheaper than Adam Duritz getting a sex change, I guess ...
But that's weak sauce. Because if you dare to bash the idea of covering someone else's song, then you'd better not be a fan of The Beatles, or Elvis (who would not have existed without song covers), Aerosmith, Van Halen, Jimi Hendrix, Clapton, Bowie, STP, GNR, The Who or Talking Heads. We love covers.
And damnit, we'd better! Bar bands across the country would be torturing us with their ghastly original songs, instead of helping us sing along at the top of our lungs while they play stand-in for our favorite artists. And even when we go to a concert to see a band with a million hits or just several albums' worth of songs, the night's not ever really complete until they try to tackle just one hit that ain't theirs.
Covering a song is a grand experiment. It can be a complete Homage: Lenny Kravitz's American Woman. Or a rougher-edged tribute: Aerosmith's Come Together. Or a total subversion: Marilyn Manson's Sweet Dreams ... or they can be embarrassing: Mick Jagger and David Bowie singing Dancing in the Streets (the video still makes me feel such pity). Or self-important and bloated: Madonna should be imprisoned for daring to tread on American Pie; and Ike and Tina ... well, they raped poor Proud Mary. Worst of all, remakes can be impotent, pointless: Kylie's Locomotion, Clapton's I Shot the Sheriff, 311's Lovesong.
And if one more motherf*****... remakes Hallelujah ... so help me ...!
But I still like covers. They bring us gems like this.
Some I'd even argue are better than the original. Jimi's All Along the Watchtower, Aretha's Respect. But they're so old and established, it's hard to think of them as remakes. For more modern songs, it's a tough debate whether there are remakes that are actually better than the original. With that in mind, I submit, the much easier to do, top-5 list of covers of modern songs that are at least as good, if not better. In no particular order...
Fiona Apple - Across the Universe. Almost everything John Lennon wrote and sang during the Let it Be era comes across to me as being as much performance art as true music. Fiona Apple's low mumbling songs rarely did it for me, but on Across the Universe, she actually makes the song feel as melancholy as the original was meant to. It's contemplative instead of random.
No Doubt - It's My Life. A definite contender for "better than the original" except among Gwen Stefani haters and 80s music purists. And not for Gwen's voice. I can take it or leave it. I think her warbling and howling is more than tolerable in this song, but to me it's everything else going on. Roxy Music made a great song, but it didn't have Tony Kanal's brilliant bass work and Adrian Young's crisp drumming and Tom Dumant's retro guitar work. It's the ultimate 80s homage. Only cleaner and slicker.
Mary J. Blige - Sweet Thing. You can't tackle a legend. Unless you're about to become one, yourself. What's the 411 was the first we heard of Mary J. and she went for broke four tracks into the record with a Chaka Khan standard. Almost no song is more identified with Chaka Khan (that doesn't start with "Chaka Khan... Chaka-Chaka Khan ...) and Sweet Thing is something you don't go after, especially with some forgettable weak-ass synthesized arrangement. But Mary J. Blige smoked that song's ass with power, passion and what every melismatic over-singer from Mariah to Christina Aguilera still doesn't have; control, baby. So much control. Even Chaka gave her props, and yet the debate rages on youtube still ... "whose version was better."
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Higher Ground. Who has the stones to mess with Stevie Wonder? And good Stevie Wonder at that. It's not like Kiedis and company were remaking I just Called to Say I love You. Higher Ground is an important tune. And now, thanks to the Chili Peppers, it's an important tune that you can workout to! Booyah!
Disturbed - Land of Confusion. (tie) I was originally sold on this cover being sooo much harder and angrier than Genesis version. I blame it on my fading memory of the 80's, the Kroft puppets that were used in the video and the fact that it came off the same album as Invisible Touch. Turns out, Phil Collins comes across as pretty damned pissed. So it's harder, but not phenominally so. Plus, it makes me remember how much I love the original, without making me wish I was listening to the original. Disturbed takes the heart of a great tune and updates it without changing it in a stupid way. That almost never, ever happens. Ever.
Orgy - Blue Monday.  (tie) Also a grittier update of a cranky classic. At the time it came out, Orgy was poised to fill New Order's niche. So the song feels like as much homage as remake. It's the last we've heard of Orgy; and a one-radio-hit band can be more forgettable when their one hit is a remake. But Blue Monday stands up pretty solid.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Top 5: GARB - The Great American Rock Band

As a kid, I remember growing up with those big-ass hit machine all-American rock bands. It was the 80s and powerhouses like Journey Aerosmith, Metallica, Bon Jovi and Van Halen were ramping up towards unstoppability.  The kind of bands that are now staples of Classic Rock radio.  They are icons.  And they were, even then.  But of course, unstoppability gives way to, "not as good as they were, but still pretty good."  That gives way to "Man, that last album was better.  What are they trying to do?"  Then, "OK, there's new guys in the band.  What the hell with that?!"  Then comes, "Seriously, if I hear another fukken power ballad, someone is going to DIE."
The big dogs are gone.  Broken up or boring as crap.  Shadows of their former selves.
Eventually, all bands jump the shark.  And we're left wondering if they were even worth listening to in the first place.  Or questioning their previous greatness.  Hell, I have a whole case of CDs that have been deemed too embarrassing to show publicly anymore.  And even the Bad Boys of Boston are in that case.  (My wife wasn't a fan of Aerosmith during the years I was blasting them - when I played Permanent Vacation so much the tape snapped.  So, to her, everything that isn't "Sweet Emotion" is "Don't Want to Miss a Thing" and those songs will never see the light of day.  Who can blame her?  Do you want to justify that song's existence?)
 Has the GARB died off?  Who will populate our classic rock stations of the future?
Those are the questions I wanted answers to.  It was easy to say a band like Van Halen was a powerhouse in the 80s, but nowadays, is there a band like that?  I don't think we think of it in those terms anymore.  But here goes my list anyway. The top 5 current Great American Rock Bands.  Selected in terms of longevity, American-ness, and rock status.  And, as always, in no particular order.
1. Red Hot Chili Peppers.  Doing it longer than everyone on the list (formed in 1983).  There is no way in Hell they should even be capable of this kind of relevance after all this time.  After 27 years of making music, nearly every rock band I can think of has found a quiet way to ease into Adult Contemporary and fade from our memories.  Like a slow boat ride down a river "... bye bye rock band ... say hi to Sting for us ..."  Not the RHCP.  Never.  In another 5 years, 10 years, I may not like their new album, or care, but it will not be soft.  It will not be weak.  They are sex, They are drugs.  They are rock and roll.
2. Green Day.  OK, So I blogged about them already.  There's a teeming throng of haters that say they are not punk.  I surrender.  But no one can tell me they aren't rock.  Or great!  You can't win those arguments here.  Two hit albums ago they released a greatest hits CD, with 20 songs I already knew by heart.  Meanwhile I click past songs on Van Halen's greatest hits so much I wonder why I even needed to buy the CD.
3. (wait for it) Weezer.  Yes, Weezer.  Shut up, you!  I am totally right.  Subversive or not, offbeat or not, this band - this band that could have and maybe should have been a one hit wonder with "Buddy Holly" 16 years ago does not stop.  As a friend pointed out, they have a lot in common with AC-DC.  Every song has their trademark; it's undeniable who you are hearing.  When that minimalist verse warms up  - takes a quick breath - then charges into the guitar slamming chorus, we know exactly who we're hearing.  And like AC-DC, they have a sound that no one else could pull off.  And that attitude.  There's all kinds of bands that bank on geeky, wry and not-too-serious and even for the best of them, the gimmick wear off.  For Cake, Smash Mouth, The Presidents of the USA, and sometimes The Offspring .. the luster fades.  We get tired of it.  Weezer defies the odds.  They are The Beatles of geek rock and they don't give a hoot about what you think.
4. Foo Fighters.  I like how the Foo Fighters slowly snuck up on me over the course of the 90s, slowly amassing a catalog of hits.  Not albums full of Number ones, but one or two solid tracks every time.  Every GAMB should have a big fat fist pumping rock anthem.  The kind slow motion scenes in sports movies are designed for.  "My Hero" took care of that a decade ago.
5. No freaking idea.  Can I just say it?  As many great bands as there are out there, every one I can come up with has some sort of fatal flaw.  The nearest contenders I can come up with for spot number five are:
The Killers: another clever band with a kickass wall of sound and a monster dose of irony.  If they make one more album that people actually listen to, they could totally be in.
No Doubt: totally a contender for a while.  Then they broke up.  At this point I'm not sure they'd make it in even if they got back together.  Like the Eagles,  a reunion might just be a too little too late thing when it comes to music relevance.  Too bad.  As a collection, they are some of the greatest individual musicians of their time.
Stone Temple Pilots: See above.
All-American Rejects:  I love them.  I won't lie.  Three solid, fairly hit-filled albums in 9 years.  Something is missing.  I'm not sure what.
The Beastie Boys: Rock pioneers (Face it, Rap will not claim them)  They became greater and better as the politics motivated them.  But unlike U2, their music was the one thing that people did not want to hear as time went on.
Pearl Jam: Every move for the past 12 years has been a calculated "fuck you" to their fans.  They've rotted away into jam band obscurity.  Like the Grateful Dead, if Jerry Garcia was a douche.
Maroon 5: The Twilight: New Moon of rock bands.  They get no love.
Came so close ... : Blink 182, Good Charlotte, Counting Crows ...
Scary that The Black Eyed Peas are a few guitars away from being a better choice on this list than these.  Aaaaand ... for the sake of my own self-respect, I am glad that Nickelback is Canadian.  You might not like this list if they weren't.  And neither would I.  Trust me.