12 Days of Christmas Music, part 2: I saw mommy doing what?!

... kissing Santa Claus.
There's a couple famous versions of this song.  The big two I remember from my childhood are the one by the Ronettes (with a 20-something Ronnie Spector at the helm) and the one by the Jackson 5.
It's a classic.  That is, it's a very old song that really, you can't update anymore.  It has long since passed the threshold of creepy.  (Although apparently no one told John Mellencamp that)
The premise: a sneaky child who should be in bed on Christmas Eve catches Mom and Pop (in his Santa gear) putting presents under the tree and sneaking a quick snog.  Now, I don't know about your folks, but at my house, Christmas Eve was not a time to enjoy some Santa Claus cosplay and make out under the mistletoe.  More often than not, it was a time for Dad to create a reindeer-like clatter as he attempted to put together whatever technological monstrosity my brother and I had begged for that Christmas - cursing a storm and breaking it in the process.  We wouldn't have snuck downstairs for all the Christmas cookies in the house.  We just wanted to wake up the next morning to a freshly superglued GI Joe playset and call it a win.
Sing it with me kids!  "I saw mommy scolding Santa Claus ... after he broke Optimus Prime's leg off that Niiiiight..."
In the Ronettes version from 1964ish one has to wonder why a 22 year old woman hasn't figured out the truth about Santa  and seems neither concerned with Mom's flexible thoughts on wedding vows or dad's need to strap on a fake beard at 2 a.m. - depending on how you take it.
In the J5 version, at least you can tell little Michael is a child and is trying to convince his 300 or so brothers that he totally saw the Santa smooch go down that night.  They don't believe him and he tries and tries in vain to convince them.
"I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white" (creeeeepy!)
"Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen"
Um, is little Michael Jackson crazy?!  Poor damn Santa would have caught a nasty Joe Jackson beat down is what would have happened.  Christmas would be canceled.  That sound like an F-ing laugh to you, kid!?  get back upstairs and mind your business!